The last thing I want to do is to make light, belittle or negate the impact of the tragedies that occurred last week in France…
It is well-known that I am not a Francophile (I’m barely rough enough to be a nail file), but that was an horrendous time for the French and a shocking time across much of the world even in places where the sun has never risen on French interests.
Tonight over a cracking “Fitter Cheney” I realised much has already been written on this subject and I will forever be under-qualified to raise a quill – so I’m confining my flippancy to minor observations and the peripheral dross that always surrounds such global palpitations.
Firstly there was Fox News whose terrorism expert forced the broadcaster to make an apology to the people of Birmingham after he claimed their city was ‘totally Muslim’ and ‘non-Muslims just simply don’t go in’. Steve Emerson made the bizarre comments, also claiming there were religious police squads roaming the streets of London who ‘seriously wound’ people in non-Muslim dress.
As we know, you cannot “finger” Muslims in this way:
Meanwhile Donald Trump, who appeared to have woken after being fingered with an electric hair drier
suggested that the Charlie Hebdo attack was a result of France’s ‘strict’ gun laws and that the journalists would have ‘had a fighting chance’ if they had been armed. Mmm, sorry to trump you Donald but no, perhaps they would have had a fighting chance if the terrorists had launched a vicious attack with paper airplanes and soft rubber erasers.
French security services (le surete nationale, le petit déjeuner, le thé du matin, le déjeuner, le gendarmerie, le après déjeuner, le je ne sais quoi, le grand sausage and le mon dieu, il est temps de manger) gave up watching the suspects as they deemed them to be possibly involved in the counterfeiting of clothing and shoes and were thus “no longer dangerous.” Confronted with this Hollande declared: Je suis un Charlie:
Given that all of this was triggered by cartoons, it might be interesting if someone published a cartoon of Mohammed and signed it Kim Jong Un.