The Awkward Days Between Christmas and New Year…

…can leave you in the doldrums to the point where you don’t know what day it is nor do you know what you’re doing with your life – a similar reaction many of us had to the shocking stories that floated across our screens this year.

Much happened in this the 15th year of the 3rd millennium but it wasn’t all bad – it just felt like it was and you had to go looking for news that didn’t hurt. So as we run out of them, here’s an off-beat rearward-look at some of the different events of the last 365 days.

January was dominated by the horrific events in Paris which I commented on here: and I had hardly put away the Christmas decorations when;Christmas is Over - Dead Sparrow

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia died. I suggested the Saudi Royal Family should think of it not so much as losing a loved one, more as gaining a tea towel and I proposed a little something for the obituary: King Abdullah died in hospital after a short battle with modernisation and complications following an overdose of human rights abuses. I didn’t receive an invite to the funeral.

Elsewhere during January, the BBC appointed a new Europe correspondent;Matthew Correspondent BBC Correspondent

And in Canada some wondered if the Moose(s) were related;Meanwhile in Canada Sister hits Moose....

In February, the themes were colour-blindness and this marketing blindness;The Dress is Blue Ease Your Bosoms Coffee

If the coffee doesn’t do the trick, then expert help is available;Ample Bosom Expert

(I wonder if they can fix my coffee machine?). There was also a technological advance for the blind. I heard that UK banks added textures and notches to bank cards to help blind customers feel their way around making machine transactions. (I’m not sure if I heard that or if I felt it in Braille Weekly). Tangentially, did you know it is illegal in the Netherlands to impersonate a blind person – but only at night? Those crazy Dutch people eh?

March got more interesting as the World Cricket Cup started and in Christchurch the flags were out;Cricket World Cup See The Greatest Inaction

And there were some really useful statistics on the associated TV coverage;PAK v IND Cricket

But clearly, Pakistan were not taking any chances;kashmir-police-sto_2640643k

Meanwhile in Canada the new Archaeological season finally got underway;Canadian Archaelogy

And CNN announced that the identity of “Jihadi John” had been discovered;Putin as JihadI John

April cranked up as scientists used the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) to take another poke at tiny particles. The BBC were perhaps a little too quick to rise;April - Hardon Collider BBC

In the UK a safety warning on a control box led to wide-spread fear;Power Box Warning of Death and Fine   Graffiti Signal Boxes Hugging

“Drone Picture of the Year” was taken in April of these Camels racing in Dubai;Camels Racing

And the race winner was later seen relaxing on the owner’s balcony;Camel on Balcony

In May, Charlotte Elizabeth Diana, Princess of Cambridge arrived to give big brother George Alexander Louis something to worry about. Grandad was thrilled – knowing he will never have to be on nappy duty.Prince Charles looking goofy

Whilst Charlotte was hatching, her uncle Harry was in NZ where he expressed concern that so many New Zealanders seemed not to live in regular houses but rather were forced to live behind high barriers on the roadside with no room to move or to go to the bathroom. He said he had seen this phenomena up and down the country. “In every case, they’ve been very happy to see me. But there’s nothing I can do, really. One woman yelled ‘Take me Harry!’ and I just said nothing. I couldn’t get her out of there, so I just waved.”539471001

Also in May, NZ hosted the FIFA Under 20 Football World Cup. Sadly, due to a bit of local difficulty FIFA president Septic Bladder was unable to attend;FIFA Under 20s Fair Play Flag

As the FIFA officials were being arrested in Zurich on corruption charges, (and they vowed to clear their names – whatever the cost), the Germans were busy decorating their houses to indicate a modest level of team support;FIFA Under 20s German Supporters

In Seoul, June saw the wedding of the local leader of Anonymous group;Hkg10187155

In NZ the agreement that there would be a referendum to determine a possible successor to the traditional NZ flag resulted in Vexillology vexing Veterans. The June referendum in Greece on whether or not to accept the proposed financial reforms in order to secure further financial assistance on the other hand, heralded heckling hilarity; A Deal in Greece is Coming

July was the opening date for the new Jehovah’s Witness Training Centre;jehovahs-witnesses-training-center

Also in July I got a new job as a Security Guard. – Nah, just kidding;My New Job as a Security Guard

In August a flaperon found on Reunion Island was confirmed to be from MH370 but there was still no reunion of the part with the plane. Meanwhile in Iraq there was a reunion for solders training local troops and a supporter;Batman Thank God You've Arrived

Coincidentally in August, an Iraqi Army spokesman was not happy;Iraqi Army Sokesman Saad Maan

September was not Volkswagen’s best month when they were caught lying about emissions. But to be honest they have had worse problems to deal with;VW Have Had Worse Problems

I want to add that lying about emissions has been known to happen in lifts. Clearly such activity is wrong – on so many levels.

October? Well it would be remiss not to mention the Rugby World Cup and here are pictures of supporters for four of the key teams: New Zealand, England, Australia and Ireland;

Rugby All Blacks 001

Rugby England 001

Rugby Australia 001

Rugby Ireland 001

November brings us back to horrible events and Australia’s Channel 7 did its best to show they could produce a graphic background that would take our minds off the atrocities we were seeing on other news channels. Not only did they display outstanding crassness and poor taste, they also managed to offend the entire population of the Netherlands – as well as many others;November Channel 7 Uses Dutch Flag for Paris Attacks

Sadly, in November immigration continued to be a theme;November Immigration Museum - Keep Out

But in December there were a few brighter moments. There were some warm days to enjoy in Sydney as highs hit 43C and we thought we would melt;December Sydney Dog Melts During Heat Wave

French citizens were encouraged to vote – even if the candidate was not especially attractive and may be an airhead;December Vote for Yves Car

Also in December, Ottawa police finally caught up with old Popadick;December Popadick Arrested

Looking forward to 2016, sometime next November someone somewhere is going to finally win the plane in the long-running US presidential game show;Republican Debate 002

And finally, here’s a couple of markers for the coming year;Nothing is Written in Stone  My Dear No-One Cares About Your Year in Faecebook.

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15 Responses to The Awkward Days Between Christmas and New Year…

  1. Jackson Paradise says:

    If you want to look at any apartments in Surfers just let me know. Meantime keep doing what you’re doing.
    Jackson Paradise, Realtor

  2. Earnest Belcher says:

    Shit that’s coll!

  3. Wilhelm Winkleburger says:

    Cool dude is right ya!

  4. Amal Shukup says:

    Interested in writing scripts for me? Call me when you can.

  5. Gedupta Singh says:

    I’m running an Indian Karaoke next Thursday if you’re interested? Meantime that was a great piece of work – do more please!

  6. Auntie Depressant says:

    Chalky but good!

  7. Godswill Ihateu says:

    In Nigeria it is only just possible that we can write what we want. Would you help please? For a change, I can give you my bank account details?

  8. Cynthia Clapwater says:

    Who put you up to this shit?

    Dopn’t you realise there are Cats ot there with real lives and people who need them?

  9. Honeysuckle Bush-Cutter says:

    How do you do what you do? That must take ages.

    I’m going to be in New York Tuesday – are you available for a meeting?

  10. Ivan Ivanovitch Ivanovsky says:

    Nifty pifty. I like your take.
    I can provide Vodka if you want to write with me?

  11. Fungus the Footman says:

    Oh! Let me know when the book is available pleez!

  12. Doug Trench says:

    Wouldn’t disagree with any of that. Keep doin’ it eh?

  13. Hugh Dunnet says:

    I usually hate New Year, but this helped me a lot!
    Thanks Gruntle.

  14. Haley Bailey-Dai;y says:

    I haven’t stopped laughing – you should be a writer!

  15. Anita Chuckle-Buttie says:

    Wow! I loved all of that. Will you marry me?

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